Animals, like humans, can have a tendency to overdrink. Doesn’t this explain the fact that the image of “our smaller brothers” is firmly established in Russian table folklore: “a chicken – and she drinks”; “and the cat would drink if it was not covered, and the rooster would drink if someone bought it”; “the first glass is a stake, the second is a falcon, and the rest are small birds”; “only a camel can go without drinking for a month”, etc. And who does not know the song about the famous Chizhik, now immortalized in bronze: “Chizhik-Pyzhik, where have you been? I drank vodka on the Fontanka!”? During the years of the “dry law” M.S. Gorbachev was born in Moscow the famous term “Hour of the Wolf”. Exactly at 11-00 on the facade of the Obraztsov puppet theater, huge chimes began to beat, of which was the image of a terribly terrible wolf. At the same time, liquor stores also opened, around which “Gorbachev’s loops” snaked. At the same time, a popular chorus was born:
“Where are we going with Piglet?
Of course, in the deli!
Why are we going to the grocery store?
Of course, for wine!
For some reason, drunkards in Russia are compared with animals: “got drunk like a pig”, “got drunk like a pig”, “drunk like a pig”, “drunk to a pig squeal”, “drunk like a horse”, “drinks like a horse “. They also say: “I ate, got drunk – and the tail curled up!”. Typical insults include “drunk goat”, “drunk pig”, “drunk donkey”. “Bird sickness” is a hangover. Why? Because – “quail”! Among the jokes there is this: “What is vodka gorilka?”. Little African gorilla.
In the folk environment, an original wine and vodka animalism was composed: “bull dose” (excessive level of alcohol intake), “be under the fly” (get drunk hard), “mad cow milk” (vodka), “make a ruff” (mix vodka with beer) . And among the synonyms for the word “drink” there are many “animalisms”: “catch a squirrel”, “grab a bear”, “knock a thrush”, “water a horse”, “wet its beak”, “grunt”, “piggy”, “croak”, “ to peck, to “bite”, “to whine”, “to purr”, “to get drunk”, “to get drunk”… Drunkards in pre-revolutionary Russia were called “roosters”, not to be confused with roosters. The image of a drunken animal existed and exists in jokes, fairy tales, fables and tales. The drunken hare from Sergei Mikhalkov’s fable threatens to arrange a “showdown” with Leo himself, but, having sobered up, begins to whine, saying that he drank “for you, for your lioness, how could you not get drunk?”. “It’s a pity for the bird,” the drunken Shurik has been crying from the screen for almost forty years.
But all this is in human notions, in “drunk” folklore. But what about “our smaller brothers” in real life? Drink? Drink! And not even when a person brings them. This is another book of our Entertaining Table Series. But also about how the animal world is reflected in the products of the wine and vodka industry – bottles, corks, labels, company symbols and alcohol advertising, and even in the names of drinking establishments.
In 1934, the first Soviet musical film comedy “Merry Fellows” was released in the USSR. Its main characters L. Utyosov and L. Orlova the next morning after the premiere became national heroes, everyone’s favorites. Utyosov, in the role of the shepherd Kostya Potekhin, sang about a heart that “does not want peace.” But few people knew that there was no peace on the set of “Jolly Fellows”. Animals took part in the filming – goats, cows, boars, donkeys and a bull. Taking a sip of vodka, issued for “relaxation”, they simply terrorized the film crew, forcing them to hide in secluded cracks. The bull broke the props with his horns, smashed the prop hall, demanding “additives”. But he was not the most drunk on the set. On the table, among the glasses and bottles, a piglet was ordering pretzels, dropping them alternately. Intoxicated by filmmakers “to the squeal of a pig”, he collapsed into a dish and fell asleep. He woke up when they tried to have a bite to eat, and for a long time rushed about with screams. Watching the film, you can see how drunk the animals on the set are. Guilt in this animals? Rather, not them, but people. Quite frivolously, they did not calculate the “bull dose” …
But the world of wildlife itself is full of such “drunk” stories. Its entire population suffers from alcohol abuse – from tiny flies and insects to such giants as elephants or giraffes. The well-known narcologist Vladimir Nuzhny writes in his book “Wine in Life and Life in Wine”: “Everyone is familiar with the unpleasant picture of rotting fruit, which are covered with a mass of small flies – fruit flies. In addition to fruit flies, there are other insects (flies, wasps and butterflies), which are attracted by fermented fruits and various food waste like a magnet. On these garbage, they begin to gain weight, be fruitful and multiply at a breakneck pace. The reason for this is ethyl alcohol, which is formed during the fermentation process, which is, apparently, a food highly revered by insects … “. V.Nuzhny gives an interesting example of spiders, to which biologists slipped an alcohol solution instead of dew drops. The spiders gladly ate the treat, after which, with tripled energy and excitement, they began to weave a web, but already at random. Moreover, the web woven by a drunken spider was torn from a light touch. Senseless work.
As far back as the beginning of the last century, the famous Muscovite Vladimir Gilyarovsky described the ancient pastime of Moscow “roosters” feeding sparrows with pieces of bread dipped in vodka. The space near the taverns and taverns was littered with drunken sparrow carcasses and resembled a battlefield. Some floundered in the dust, trying to take off, others were fast asleep, leaning back and stretching their paws to the sky. The goofballs treated them with great warmth and even drove away the cats snooping around who wanted to profit. However, the same was observed near the Soviet beer stalls, where hard workers and drunkards gathered. Such an occupation (between the main “business”) entertained them extremely. The surrounding sparrows rushed to the drunken “feast”, and soon began to behave like real drunkards: ruffled their feathers, made threatening attacks against each other, stumbled more and more often and, finally, fell back, helplessly jerking their paws. Interestingly, having “sobered up”, the flock of sparrows was ready for the “continuation of the banquet”. By the way, in the pre-revolutionary drunken jargon there was an expression “communes a sparrow.” So called those who drank “a little”.
Drunken chickens, geese, turkeys can be seen in all their glory in the villages. Kind village moonshiners pour surplus mash into their food, not caring about the consequences. Braga is a favorite treat for domestic pigs, blissfully falling “under the hop” into the nearest puddle. Gobies and cattle are fattened with waste from alcohol production. The thick, which is formed after the distillation of alcohol, is called stillage. It is mixed with hay or straw, adding honey there to neutralize the acids contained in the stillage. Adult bulls can receive up to 80 liters of vinasse per day. It was in the village that such a curious incident happened. The aunt fed her chickens fermented cherries. Those, having played tricks, fell asleep. Deciding that the chickens were dead, the aunt plucked them alive, dead drunk, deprived of the slightest opportunity to resist. Such is the “swan song”!
Narcologists around the world are amazed by the starling, or rather, its super resistance to alcohol. Enzymes decomposing alcohol were found in the body of this cute bird. This makes the starling a teetotaler with any alcoholic libations. Those. he can drink vodka like water without consequences. Scientists have tried to model the starling phenomenon on us. And here’s the conclusion they came to. If a starling were the size of an adult, he could drink a bottle of wine every eight minutes without consequences. And I would be happy and healthy.
What is the reason for the appearance of such phenomenal enzymes? The diet of these birds, as a rule, is overripe berries, which they find under the snow. Due to fermentation, the alcohol content in these berries can reach 5 percent. Apparently, getting used to food of this kind over the centuries of existence contributed to the bird’s sober “hardening”.
Cats are known to be addicted to alcohol-containing valerian. And here is what David Taylor, author of Cat Secrets, writes: “I knew one strange cat who liked to lap up beer from time to time, perhaps because of the characteristic yeasty taste … It’s funny how often cats who are offered clean water, prefer to drink from a rain puddle or a flower vase!” One of the participants of the “veterinary forum” reports on the Internet: “Cat, Persian, 6 months old, neutered, drinks vodka! We noticed by chance – we saw him sitting on the table and drinking vodka from a glass without wincing! I yelled at him, he jumped off, slowly ate some dry food and went to his room. In the morning I gave him vodka from a teaspoon – he began to lap up, as if nothing had happened! It seems to me that this is not the first time, I have already noticed that when we have guests, his muzzle smells of vodka … “.
But a drunken cat is still nonsense. For real, “correct” cats, by the way, soberly guard the interests of the alcoholic beverage industry. Here is an example. In an old Scottish town, whiskey is produced with the image of a partridge on the label. This is a very famous whiskey that all of Scotland is proud of. This distillery has been operating for more than one century, having long turned into a kind of museum, which tourists from different countries visit with pleasure.
At the entrance they are met by a bronze cat of a serious appearance named Tovser. Serving at the enterprise as a watchman from April 21, 1963 to March 20, 1987, as it is written on a commemorative plaque, she killed 29,298 mice. A record worthy of the Guinness Book! Question: who was counting the victims of this worthy feline representative? It must be said that cats hunt mice not only when they are hungry. The best hunters are well-fed cats. They are driven by the excitement of persecution, a passion inherited from their ancestors. It is possible that the ancestors of our Tovser, not out of fear, but out of conscience, guarded the legendary whiskey.
By erecting a monument to the cat, the grateful Scots immortalized the contribution of felines to the history of world alcohol. The fact is that in distilleries working on grain raw materials, mice become a big hindrance and problem for people. And no matter how hard they try to kill them, they are always close to the distillation apparatuses, even if these apparatuses are ultra-modern. No one does better than cats and mice. There are practically no mice in Chinese vodka production. The reason for this is vague: either Chinese mice are indifferent to rice and gualien, from which vodka is produced here, or the Chinese themselves ate them.
The “mouse” problem has always worried winemakers. In the collection of ancient dishes, collected by a descendant of the “king of Russian vodka” P.A. Smirnova Boris Alekseevich, there was a bottle of “Nezhinskaya mountain ash” by Sinyushin and Smorodinov, at the bottom of which one would find a mouse skeleton. She climbed inside at the end of the nineteenth century. How it got there is a mystery to us. But zoologists say that mice, showing a keen interest in the contents of bottles of wine or vodka, manage to literally stretch out to the string, contracting their muscles, which makes it possible for them to crawl into the thinnest throat. So great is their craving for alcohol. By the way, the Americans now have a bottle with a mouse. As a free supplement to the Smirnov brand of vodka.
From mice and cats to dogs. And among them come across individuals suffering from cravings for alcohol. The favorite dog of the great actor Kachalov, according to eyewitnesses, simply adored wine. Knowing this, the guests of the actor certainly poured into the bowl and the dog. Having drunk and gratefully licked the hands of the guests, the dog began to stagger, crawled to the floor and fell asleep, completely smitten with hops. In the laboratory of the great Russian physiologist I.P. Pavlova was a dog who was very fond of undiluted alcohol. Pavlov himself did not drink at all and treated people who drink with great contempt. At the same time, the dog did not interfere with drinking, exploring the effect of alcohol on its body. However, Pavlov’s experiments on dogs were quite cruel: he offered milk diluted with alcohol to hungry dogs. Dogs with a “strong type” of the nervous system were affected by alcohol within an hour. With the “weak type” – more than a week. Pavlov fell in love with the dog, who refused “drunk” milk, and set him as an example to people. But we must be objective: the effect of alcohol on the human body was tested by Pavlov himself. He sat down in front of the mirror, poured a good portion of rum into a glass, drank it and began to write down his feelings. After the first portion, he wrote down: “the eyes turned salty.” After the second, he fell to the floor, dead drunk. Pavlov almost died then.
It has been noted, however, that not all animals that have tasted alcohol get drunk “to the position of rhizomes.” There are also representatives who are able to overcome the pernicious craving for excess. “… Few people have seen a drunken rat,” writes V. Nuzhny. – These animals certainly love alcohol, but they use it only as much as their body can process without harm. They came up with the most mocking tricks in order to make the rats get drunk: they kept them without water for weeks, periodically presenting a strong solution of alcohol, but the animals still drank only a little – just to quench their thirst a little. But at the same time they did not lose their rat appearance!
Here you can argue with the scientist: rats are different for rats. Indian rats, for example, show far from the best examples of drunken behavior. In the state of Bihar, police warehouses store seized counterfeit alcohol. The police are in big trouble because of the drunkard rats. Brazen and warlike, they occupied the warehouses. Day after day they destroy stocks of alcohol, gnawing through beer cans and bottle caps. “We’re fed up with drunken rats,” lament the law, asking for protection from rat experts. And in the old breweries, rats were a real scourge. The beer was fermented in large open vats. Cunning rats, straddling the edge of the vats, dipped their tails into the beer. After licking them, they lowered them back into the vat. And so on until they get drunk.
Cockroaches, like rats, are the eternal companions of man. But unlike rats, they literally lose their cockroach heads to beer. By the way, the best way to get rid of them is to leave a little drink at the bottom of the jar, lubricating its walls from the inside with Vaseline. Cockroaches run to the smell of beer and remain in the bank, unable to get out. Only it is necessary to destroy in advance in the places of “hunting” the remnants of other foods and drinks that give a smell.
There is a common joke: animals do not drink alcohol because they do not have it. This is so and not quite so. For example, in the underwater world there are fish whose body produces alcohol. Here is what narcologists write about this: “Ichthyologists recently established that the blood of aquarium veiltails contains an exceptionally large amount of ethyl alcohol … Ethyl alcohol is formed in these fish in the stomach. In the process of digestion, carbohydrate enzymes of food undergo intensive fermentation, and the resulting alcohol is perfectly absorbed by the body … “.
In this regard, it is appropriate to recall the story of a Moscow tourist who visited Rostov the Great. He stayed at the hotel, in the restaurant of which there was a huge aquarium filled to the brim with water. There were no fish. “Where are the fish?” he asked the waitress. “Just give you fish, you immediately start pouring vodka into the aquarium,” she answered offendedly. The fish died of martyrdom in a water-alcohol solution.
There are plants in the Amazon basin, in the tissues of which ethyl alcohol accumulates, which is a poison for them. But since they are in water, the alcohol is washed out. The fish that inhabit these places begin to spawn only when a certain amount of alcohol accumulates in the reservoirs. This is like a signal to start spawning. It is said that some aquarium fish begin to spawn when a little alcohol is dropped here. I must say that there are species of fish that are extremely sensitive to alcohol. For example, an eel will feel it if only 1 gram of alcohol is dissolved in 3,500 cubic … kilometers of water. The crucian “learns” 1 gram of nitrobenzene in a “reservoir” with a volume of 100 cubic kilometers. By the way, people are very far from vertebrates: the same crucian sees prey at one twenty-billionth part of daylight. The minnow is 500 times more sensitive to sugar dissolved in water than a person …
In the world of insects, there are also individuals containing alcohol. A striking example of this is lamehuse. It is called the “storm of ants.” And here’s why. Lamehuza is an obese annelids, covered with hairs, similar to a caterpillar. Slow, lethargic, afraid of daylight. If the ants drag her into an anthill, then you can safely put an end to this anthill. The fact is that ants have known since ancient times: if you tickle the belly of a lamehuse, it will release an alcohol-containing liquid. After that, it is impossible to stop the drunkenness of ants and the anthill becomes an inveterate drunkard very quickly. The writer Alexander Prokhanov described this phenomenon very figuratively, somehow even apocalypically, for his own, however, political purposes, the essence of which we will omit: and waits. Her hairs, like the thinnest tubes, begin to secrete sweet juice, an intoxicating drug, a coveted drink that acts on an ant like valerian on a cat. Terrible guards begin to drink, to taste marvelous moisture. They get drunk, they go crazy. They sing their drunken crazy songs, to which other ants come running, greedily falling to the sweet nipples. And now the lamehuse is surrounded by crowds of ants, bestows everyone, makes them drunk with sweet secretions. And the great warriors, tireless workers, vigilant guards give up their business, indulge in drug orgy around a fat worm that secretes sticky nectar. The city of ants, which until recently struck with harmony, proportionality, and a reasonable device, reminiscent of Plato’s “perfect city”, begins to wither. It is no longer strengthened, not protected, building material and food are not mined, underground storerooms are not filled, ritual guards are not carried around the Leader. Crowds of drugged ants loiter along the underground passages, fight, kill each other. They crowd around the immobile annelids, continuously exuding a sticky honey poison. The Capitoline she-wolf, from the nipples of which the ant-like Romulus and Remus were born, who destroyed their ant-like Rome. The ant kingdom is falling, the anthill is collapsing, and the blind worm is slowly getting out from under the ruins, looking for another anthill…”.
Alas, these facts do not teach ants anything, and if, walking through the forest, you find a dried-up anthill, near which its inhabitants are senselessly swarming, you know that Lamehuza has visited here. By the way, there is formic alcohol. This is a drug, which includes formic acid and 70% ethyl alcohol. It is used for rubbing into the skin in the treatment of diseases such as sciatica and rheumatism.
Speaking of insects, we must not forget about bees. From time immemorial, an alcoholic drink has been made from bee honey in Rus’. Honey was boiled, fermented, hops, spices were added there, poured into barrels and kept in the cold for several weeks. Drinking honey could be cherry, juniper, raspberry, cranberry, lingonberry, etc. With the invention of cheaper “bread wine” (vodka), honey faded into the background in Rus’. We remember him thanks to Pushkin’s fairy tales: “… And I was there, I drank honey-beer, it flowed down my mustache, but it didn’t get into my mouth.”
As you know, bees do not tolerate interference in the life of their hive. The beekeeper, visiting their dwelling, puts on a hat with a net that protects the face and neck, and takes a smoker with him. But in the wild there are bees that are intolerant of humans in general. A disturbed hive will follow a person for a kilometer away. Representatives of the Jarawa tribe (Andaman Islands) found an approach to such bees. They rub the body with the sap of the plant Araomum aculeatum, which emits a faint odor pleasant to the bees. With hands moistened with this juice, you can even touch the peacefully buzzing mass of bees.
About the enemies of bees – hornets. Finding an alcoholic puddle, they drink until they lose the ability to fly. Hornets prefer vodka with juice. And, by the way, where does the popular expression come from: cognac smells like bugs? History is silent.
From the world of insects to the world of animals. A goat named Bottomless Barrel (Kansas) opens beer cans with its teeth. Drunkard raccoons know how to pull the cork out of a wine bottle. A chimpanzee can drink 600 grams of vodka in two or three minutes. Drinks and lays down to rest. Monkey catchers use this weakness of humanoids to the fullest, placing “traps” in the form of vessels with alcohol in their habitats. After that, the drunken stupid monkey is simply taken by the arm and led into captivity.
Cattle breeders with swelling of the scar in ruminants from overeating recommend, along with other means, to “knock out a wedge with a wedge”: pour a bottle of vodka into a cow, and a glass is “enough” for a goat or sheep. This will relieve spasms of the intestines and stomach, relieve pain and calm the animal. Not a single “Aibolit” can do without alcohol in the treatment of animals. Here is the story of Anvar Libabov, an artist of the famous theater “Litsedei”, the first profession of a veterinarian:
“I have always loved animals. We also had a backyard. All my childhood I was busy with cattle. Our house was tiny, we shared it in half with the teacher who taught me to read, but we had a courtyard. We also had dogs. Dad went hunting. There were likes, such classic likes, very affectionate. I have never been afraid of dogs. I didn’t know how to walk yet, but I played with the dogs, crawled between them on all fours. We had chickens, and ducks, and geese. Both cows and sheep. In short, everything except pigs, we are Tatars. And our relatives kept cattle, my uncle kept. I spent all my childhood in the pasture, driving cows and sheep. I remember a painting. We are driving cows through the stubble, autumn is already, October, the evenings are cold. We run barefoot. And then the cow dumped such a lush, lush “cake”. We go there r-times feet, warm up and run further to the next “flat cake”. So I’m not squeamish. This later came in handy when I treated animals … On New Year’s Eve, I give birth to a cow, and a bull climbs on me from behind, with such a device. It pissed him off, you see! I push him away, I drag the calf, and he sniffs from behind, he won’t understand in any way that it was I who decided to interfere with him. Another cow, I remember, had sepsis, blood poisoning in Russian, postpartum suppuration. Terrible thing! And here I am treating her. Her temperature is over 40. Morning round. You don’t even take your temperature anymore. You touch the horns, and the horns are hot, which means that the temperature is very high. I diluted the alcohol to 33 degrees with rivanol. Janet took the syringe. Entered, and for the first time saw the effect of alcohol on a cow. I had not yet had time to fully introduce the solution, and after the first dose she began to swing. And he looks at me so strangely, humanly. I look, and her hind legs give way, her butt began to wag. She turns around on her hind legs, sorts them out, does not understand anything – her legs do not obey! Looks at me: what’s going on with her? Totally drunk! Noisy in the head of the cow, hooked her. Her front legs buckled, and she collapsed to the floor and passed out. What a drunk man! For the first time in my life I heard cows snore. In the evening he returned to measure the temperature and then she woke up. Blinks, not understanding what is happening. With difficulty, she got to her feet, went to the drinking bowl and began to sip! Drinks and drinks, drinks and drinks, never gets drunk. Drink, burp, and again. She drank and collapsed again. When they healed, I just adored. When I saw it, I greeted it wildly! It will fit into the pasture, pokes its muzzle, licks its hand. And when she made a detour, she rushed straight to me from the stall, jumped up and mumbled for a long time. Did you ask for a drink? Maybe you liked it. When I was a veterinarian, everyone loved me, both people and animals. Even during Prohibition, I received 12 kilograms of alcohol per quarter. Alcohol is measured in kilograms, not liters. Three kilos per quarter. It turns out somewhere 7 bottles of vodka. When you have alcohol, you are a very respected and sought-after specialist. If you need a hangover, who do you go to? To me, there was no vodka, “dry law” …
Brown bears drink vodka with pleasure. “This is evidenced by the stories of experienced hunters, who were saved more than once by the fact that a bear stumbled upon an open half-liter, tasted its contents, and after that could not tear himself away from the neck,” writes V. Nuzhny. – What makes you believe in such stories is that some bear trainers buy drinks for their wards during tours. This calms the animals and allows them to endure the bestial life in barred wagons with less trouble. Gypsies used to do the same, leading bears around towns and villages.”
Drinker bears found in the USA. In one of the states, a whole train with corn grain flew down a slope. Under the snow, it was fermented, alcohol stood out. Grizzly bears from the Glacier National Park came to his scent. Drunken bears crawled fearlessly onto the embankment, interfering with the movement of trains. Trying to ward off drunkards, corn was covered with earth and even sprinkled with diesel fuel. But the bears ran here again and again in search of food.
Even in ancient Rus’, knowing about this bearish addiction to alcohol, they used it to catch it. At the lair they put a tub with mash, and the rest for the hunters was a matter of technique. A drunken bear that fell asleep was tied hand and foot and carried to the market. But the black bear from the Weihai Zoo (East China, Shandong Province) never gets drunk, because he knows his norm. After drinking six bottles of beer, he makes a sign: everything, they say, is enough.
In wildlife, bears find alcohol themselves. They, for example, eat overripe acorns, reaching a fairly high stage of intoxication. In hot countries there is date wine. The process of its manufacture is simple: cuts are made closer to the tops of the date palm, to which vessels are tied. Juice flows there, which is fermented and turns into a real alcoholic drink. Bears climb palm trees and drink directly from jugs. Back, these drunkards descend in an original way, simply falling down with a wild cry. Slipping slowly intoxicated beast is too lazy.
In captivity, animals are given alcohol on the advice of veterinarians. In Russian zoos, alcohol protects animals from frost. But for each animal – its own rate of acceptance of alcohol and its own variety. For a bison – 150 grams of vodka per day, for a macaque – 5 tablespoons of Cahors. By the way, an elephant in the zoo can drink up to 75 liters of alcohol per day and prefers mint liquor.
“… Warming animals with alcohol is necessary to thin the blood,” says the director of the private Nizhny Novgorod zoo Limpopo. – At the same time, vodka and wine are given to large animals in accordance with their personal desire. A camel, for example, took 150 grams from us today, but the camel itself refused.” But the press secretary of the Moscow Zoo, Natalya Istratova, denied the report that elephants are given vodka in the cold winter. She believes that alcohol has a negative effect on the body of animals that are in the cold. “There is a violation of the thermal balance and the animals freeze even more.” Colleagues who give alcohol to animals, she called “illiterate people.”
This idea was supported by the staff of the Novosibirsk Zoo. In 40-degree frosts in 2001, African lions lived without any alcohol in open enclosures, receiving, however, double the meat allowance. Indian elephants brought to Yaroslavl, belonging to the Russian circus company, were given vodka to protect them from colds. As the director of the circus explained, “It is common for elephants to be given some alcohol to acclimatize. Five bottles of vodka per barrel of water – is that a lot? he thinks. – When the elephants toured Japan, they were given whiskey, and we – vodka. Fine!”. In India itself, they know in advance when the next raid of elephants should be expected: during the ripening period of the mango trees. Having tasted the overripe and fermented fruits under the influence of heat, the elephants fall into a drunken rampage. Excited by large doses of alcohol, they attack villages, destroying everything in their path.
In ancient times, the image of an animal in vodka dishes was widely used. A glass horse damask of the 17th century, damask in the form of bears, fish and dogs have been preserved. Damask in the form of animals were on the tables of Ivan the Terrible, Alexei Mikhailovich. Glass vessels-birds came from Germany to Russia. The Izmailovsky glass factory produced bottles in the form of bears. This tradition was continued into the 19th century. Famous distillers Smirnov, Stritter, Beckman, Shustov poured vodka into glass and porcelain bottles in the shape of a bear.
Pyotr Smirnov’s company produced vodka in a fish bottle, and his uncle Ivan Smirnov’s company produced vodka in the shape of an elephant. Vodka bottles in the form of roosters, penguins, sturgeons were produced in the years of N.S. Khrushchev and L.I. Brezhnev distilleries in Moscow and Leningrad. By the way, Brezhnev loved the bison and always took her hunting. And today the tradition of making porcelain bottles and bottles in the form of animals is preserved. There is a porcelain damask in the form of a bison. The products of the Moscow plant “Crystal” are poured into it. The vessel-horse is produced at the Orenburg distillery. Bryansk honey vodka is produced in figured dishes in the shape of a bear with a barrel. Vodka “Tambov wolf” is poured into a shtof stylized as a wolf sitting on its hind legs. But on a bottle of Beluga vodka they simply placed a metal image of this fish.
Animal, bird, fish are the favorite shapes and figured bottle caps, the experience of making which has more than one century. In the 19th century, such corks were produced in industrial series. There were series “Great people”, “Writers and poets”, “Generals”, but there were also traffic jams in the form of frogs, bears, donkeys, deer, eagles, wild boars, elks, dogs of all breeds, cats and even exotic animals – elephants, hippos , rhinos, camels and giraffes.
Figured plugs of the Durov Circus series were sold, depicting the tricks of trained animals. The cork series “Krylov’s Fables” with images of their animal characters was especially popular: “Monkey and Glasses”, “Swan, Cancer and Pike”, “Fox and Crane”. There were also curly traffic jams on the theme of hunting. Glass stoppers in the form of animals were made by the glazier Maltsov, and the famous porcelain stoppers in the form of bears, elephants, hares and dogs were produced by the Englishman Gardner, which was later absorbed by the famous Kuznetsov.
The brand name of the alcohol manufacturer is also important in the market. How to attract a buyer? Product? Another technical achievement? Boring and not attractive. Another thing is to remind the consumer about wildlife. So did the great distillers of pre-revolutionary Russia. The mountain goat symbolized the products of the Saradzhev company. The symbols were an eagle with a bunch of grapes in its beak (I. Smirnov’s firm), a wolf holding a barn lock in its teeth (Zimulin’s firm), three sturgeons (Lebedev’s firm). And today, there are animals in the trademarks of companies producing alcoholic beverages: the Moscow plant “Kristall” has a bison, the St. Petersburg plant LIVIZ has a deer, the signs of Moldovan wines have a stork, and the oldest company “Baccardi”, a producer of the famous rum, has chosen its logo bat.
The presence of the image of an animal in the name of an alcoholic drink or on the label can double sales, according to alcohol market researchers in the United States. Wines and spirits with animal prints account for 18% of alcoholic beverages on the British market. Many whiskeys exploit the image of animals on the label – partridge, deer, dogs …
Popular in the West are alcoholic cocktails with “animal” names – “Doghouse”, “Fat Cat”, “Four Emu”, “Monkey Bay”, “Arrogant Frog”, “Elephant on a Rope”, “Yellow Tail”. By the way, even the very origin of the cocktail is associated with a representative of the animal, or rather, the feathered world, with a rooster.
According to the Americans, the cocktail was invented in the United States. The first mention of it refers to 1809, although it is well known that mankind has been mixing different drinks for many centuries. In Byzantium, for example, they mixed wine with water according to the traditions of Orthodoxy. The Americans claim that the word cocktail (“cock’s tail”, translated from English) was invented by horse racing enthusiasts. As if a straw sticking out of a tall glass reminded someone of a horse’s tail raised like a cock. In 1862 in America (a year earlier serfdom was abolished in the Russian Empire) the first book about cocktails was published. It was called rather frivolously “Instruction for bon vivant, or how to mix drinks.” At the end of the 19th century, the first pre-mixed canned “Club” cocktails produced by the “Hubline” company appeared in the USA.
It was in this company that one of the most popular cocktails in the United States was created – the legendary Moscow Mule. Here is his story. Who invented his recipe is not very clear. Historians of “Hüblain” are confused on this issue. The owner of the “Hublein” was a certain Martin. He met Rudolf Kunett, a former citizen of the Russian Empire, an emigrant. In 1933, he became the owner of the Smirnovskaya brand of vodka, signing a license agreement with Vladimir Smirnov, who ended up in exile after the revolution. First in Constantinople, and then in Paris, he produced the famous Smirnov’s “Table Wine”, reviving the brand of his father, Pyotr Arsenyevich Smirnov, in a refugee. Cunette, becoming the owner of the brand, opened the country’s first vodka distillery in Connecticut, USA. But “Smirnovskaya” was not for sale. Americans preferred whiskey. Then he sold the brand to Martin. At that too, things were not going shaky and not rolls. And then they invented the Moscow Mule cocktail to promote vodka. Either Martin or Cunette had an old friend in Los Angeles, Jack Morgan. And this Morgan made a titanic effort to accustom Americans to a foreign drink that he adored himself – English ginger beer. But no matter how hard they tried, they were true to their homebrew ale.
Morgan was losing money, and most importantly, hope. And then one day Morgan and Cunette (or Martin?) met in Hollywood at the Rooster and Bull restaurant and, probably out of hopelessness of the situation, they came up with such a drink: mixing a portion of Smirnoff vodka with ginger beer, adding lime juice (a type of lemon) and decided to serve the new drink in original copper mugs with the imperial Russian coat of arms. Morgan was also pleased because his mistress, who owned shares in the bronze factory, was finally able to attach her stupid, as Morgan called them, mugs.
The cocktail was named “Moscow Mule”. “… The name really didn’t mean anything,” Martin later recalled. “There was just something inviting about him.” Everything is so and not so: the name “Moskovsky” was supposed to recall the place of origin of vodka, and the mule appeared, probably due to the fact that the cocktail hit the head with the same force as the hooves of this animal. This is how the Americans promoted their Smirnoff, which has nothing to do with real Russian vodka.
The names of Russian cocktails also contain animals and fish. For example, the Polar Bear cocktail (a mixture of champagne and vodka, which has a quick intoxicating effect), Brown Bear (a traditional Russian mixture of champagne and cognac).
There is “Ruff” – a mixture of beer and vodka. The pseudo-cocktail invented by Venedikt Erofeev, the author of the famous book “Moscow-Petushki”, is called “Bitch offal”.
In Russian vodka names there are a lot of all kinds of living creatures, partly used as symbols of the regions. “Brown Bear” – in the Kaluga region, “Kind Bear” and “Bear-rod” in Kursk, “Borsk Bear” in Nizhny Novgorod, “Tiger” in Amur, “Sable” in Irkutsk, “Belek” in Astrakhan, “Moose “in Vladimir, “Wolf” in Tambov, “Seagull” in Ulyanovsk, “Berkut” in the Krasnoyarsk Territory. The fabulously heraldic “Golden Eagle” in the Leningrad Region, the “Golden Cockerel” in the Penza Region, the “Ak Bars” in Tatarstan, the “Golden Pheasant” in the Khabarovsk Territory adjoin here. The Astrakhan stellate sturgeon stands (floats) apart.
In Moldova, cognacs “White Aist” and “Black Stork” are produced. Because of the brand “White Aist”, created back in the days of the USSR, there was a real war in Moldova in the 90s. Now this brand is under state patronage, it has become state property. The history of the name of the brandy “White Stork” is connected by a legend, according to which in the 18th century storks saved the garrison of the Moldavian fortress Gorodeshty from death, when it was besieged by Turkish Janissaries. The defenders of the city were dying of hunger and the storks brought them bunches of grapes in their beaks, which saved them from starvation. The Turks, seeing that the garrison did not surrender, lifted the siege of the fortress.
A bitter tincture of a greenish-yellow color is called Zubrovka. And although her label depicts a bison, this beast has nothing to do with her recipe. This drink got its name from a plant named bison. There is in Europe with the name “The Beast”.
Near Izhevsk (Udmurtia) there is a statue of an elk, to which the folk trail does not overgrow. Newlyweds come here to raise a toast to this noble animal. It is believed that you will be prosperous if you drink a glass under such a toast: “It would be sweet to eat, it would be drunk to drink, and happiness in the house would not end. And to want and be able!
Berlozhnaya, Bear Blood, Bull Blood, Donkey Milk, Bison, Beluga, Beluga, Zubrovka, Kursk Nightingale, White Swan, Horse, White stork”, “King deer”, “Black stork”, “Stork of Kuban”, “Mustang”, “White sable”, “Prongs”, “Turtle dove”, “Hound catch up”, “Black sable”, “Black eagle” , “Bear’s Corner”, “Falcon Mountain”, “Scorpio”, “Wise Raven”, “Black Raven”, “Pantacrine”, “Golden Lion”, “Green Serpent”, “Capricorn”, “Aunt Cow”, “Big elephant” and even “Poppy Boar” – this is not a complete list of modern wine and vodka brand creation on the theme of the animal world. Vodka “Laika” was also produced in memory of the dog, the first to fly into space, for which the people folded the well-known ditty:
What has science come to?
A bitch flies in the sky
Praise to the skies
Your mother is the CPSU.”
There are vodkas with images of fabulous animals: “Sivka-Burka”, “King of Beasts”, “At the command of the pike.” By the way, we note that vodka is an indispensable companion for hunting forest game, as well as for fishing. Accordingly, vodkas appeared: “Russian Hunt”, “Hunting”, “Huntsman”, “Huntsman”, “St. Fisherman’s Tales”, “A Fisherman’s Dream”. The name of the famous film “Peculiarities of the National Hunt” gave the name to vodka. The protagonist of the film Kuzmich – “Kuzmich on the hunt”, “Kuzmich on a fishing trip” – also became vodka. By the way, if, according to folklore, a shoemaker drinks into an insole, a fireman into a chimney, a tailor into rags, a carpenter into a board, a cab driver into an arc, a cattleman up to a pig squeal, a cook into a sausage, a priest down to the position of a robe, the doctor – until the loss of pulse, the girls – until the loss of resistance, then the hunter drinks exclusively – “in the hollow.”
The world of animals is also reflected in the names of drinking establishments in Russia: “Game”, “Berloga”, “Mu-Mu”, “Hungry Cat”, “Zebra”, “Hungry Duck”, “Stork”, “Frog”, “Ruff”, Horse and Dog, Fox and Pheasant, Chasing Two Hares, Noah’s Ark, Three Boars, Three Monkeys, Under the Fly, Crazy Chicken, Fish Eye, Cook ”, “Bison”, “Flamingo”, “Turtle”, “Dolphin”, “Capercaillie Nest”, “Seven Cockroaches”, “Phlegmatic Dog”, “Bulldog”, “Thai Elephant”, “Wild Horse”, “Gnu Antelope ”, “White peacock”, “Octopus”, “Red crayfish”, “Butterfly”, “Chameleon”, “Flounder”, etc. The “identification” sign of the drinking establishment “Twin Pigs” in Moscow (Ostankino) is a pink inflatable pig. The logo of the pre-revolutionary Yegorov tavern featured a crow holding a pancake in its beak. The tavern was famous for its pancakes. In the UK, over 600 alehouses bear the name “Red Lion”.
Animals drink in M.A. Bulgakov and do it masterfully. “Talking dog” Sharikov “… did not answer Philip Philipovich, but raised his glass and said:
Well, I wish everyone…
“And you too,” Bormenthal replied with some irony.
Sharikov poured the contents of his glass down his throat, grimaced, raised a piece of bread to his nose, sniffed it, and then swallowed it, his eyes filling with tears.
“Experience,” Philipp Philippovich suddenly said abruptly and as if in oblivion …
“… Sharikov took a long breath and began to catch a piece of sturgeon in a thick sauce.
“Will I have some more vodka?” he said inquiringly.
“But won’t you?” inquired Bormenthal, “you’ve been drinking too much vodka lately.”
– Are you sorry? inquired Sharikov, and looked from under his brows. “Sharikov looked into an empty glass, as if through binoculars …”. “… His face became oily, sweat appeared on his forehead, he cheered up.” “Sharikov … suddenly, predatory and quickly poured himself half a glass of vodka.” (“Dog’s heart”).
In Bulgakov’s novel The Master and Margarita, the cat drinks quite humanly. He drinks vodka. “… On a jeweler’s pouffe, a third person collapsed in a cheeky pose, namely, a terrible black cat with a glass of vodka in one paw and a fork, on which he managed to pry a pickled mushroom, in the other …”.
But the famous cat Behemoth also drinks alcohol:
“Is that vodka? asked Margaret weakly.
The cat jumped up in a chair from resentment.
“Excuse me, queen,” he croaked, “would I allow myself to pour vodka for a lady? This is pure alcohol!.. The hippopotamus cut off a piece of pineapple, salted it, peppered it, ate it, and after that he nibbled the second pile so provocatively that everyone applauded…”.
The appetizer, demonstrated by Bulgakov’s cat, parodies the feasts of Count A.S. Stroganov. As literary historians write, at the receptions of this sophisticated gourmet, both salted peaches and pineapples in vinegar were served.
Bulgakov’s cat is omnivorous, like a true bastard. And even gasoline blows!
“It’s all over,” the cat said in a weak voice and languidly spread out in a bloody puddle, “get away from me for a second, let me say goodbye to the earth. Oh my friend Azazello! moaned the cat, bleeding. “Where are you?.. The only thing that can save a mortally wounded cat,” said the cat, is a sip of gasoline… “And, taking advantage of the confusion, he kissed the round hole in the stove and drank gasoline. Immediately the blood from under the upper left paw stopped flowing. The cat jumped up alive and cheerful, grabbing the primus stove under his arm, jumped with him back to the fireplace … “.
Oddly enough, Bulgakov does not fantasize about the gasoline that the cat Behemoth drinks, they drank gasoline in the mid-20s. They drank, adding spices to it. In those years, I.V. Stalin introduced the state vodka monopoly. It was accompanied by a brutal war with moonshiners, up to execution, because. the peasants, not wanting to hand over the bread to the Bolsheviks, processed it into moonshine. In the Land of the Soviets, there were many surrogates for alcohol, including acetone and gasoline.
Drinking vodka in company reveals the gift of singing in people. And in drinking songs, too, one cannot do without the images of “our smaller brothers”. For example: “Black raven, black raven, why are you hovering over me …”, “Ducks are flying, ducks and two geese are flying …”, “I hear the songs of a lark, I hear the trills of a nightingale …”, “Esaul, Yesaul, why did you leave your horse … “,” You fly out of the way, bird, get out of the way beast … “,” Scows full of mullet Kostya brought to Odessa … “,” What you were, remained so, an eagle of the steppe, a dashing Cossack … “,” Hares mow the grass, tryn-grass in the clearing…”, “Hey you stray horses! – a cry is heard from the irradiation … “,” On this street, as a boy, he chased pigeons over the roofs … “,” Yes, there was a black cat around the corner … “,” Oh, along the river, oh, yes, along the Kazanka, a gray drake floats “,” Rubbing their backs bears on the earth’s axis…”, “Rush me, steppe deer, to your country as a deer…”, etc.
You can also recall jokes where the heroes are vodka and animals. Here is one: “Dog racing. Dog owners are German, American and Russian. Question to all: “How do you prepare dogs for races?”. German: “Before the race, my dog listens to military marches, so he always wins.” American: “My dog eats two hamburgers and french fries, gains strength, and victory is guaranteed to him.” English: “And I pour 300 grams of vodka for mine.” All: “What a horror! How will he win then? Russian: “Yes, we don’t need it. But at the start, he is the most cheerful and funny!
Elk with a strong hangover, stumbling, dragged himself to a watering hole. He crouched down on the water and greedily drank. Here is a hunter: bam at a deer! And again in it, and again! The deer turns around, sees the hunter and says: “But I can’t understand! I drink, and I’m getting worse and worse!
A man enters a tavern with a cat under his arm. “Vodka for me, gasoline for the cat!” “So he’ll die!” – answer him. “Don’t die!” Dali – to that vodka, to the cat of gasoline. The cat drank, yelled and how he will give a tear! He ran, ran along the walls, fell, lies, does not breathe, scattered his paws. The waiter comes up: “I told you – die!”. “He won’t die, the gasoline is over!”
In a word, vodka and the animal world is not such a strange and unusual topic. And any reader of this book, no doubt, can add to it a lot of interesting things from their own knowledge and observations. Just do not encourage the “brothers of our smaller” habit of drinking alcohol.
Alexander Nikishin,
vodka historian